Saturday, September 26, 2009
When it is raining outside people's mood changes. They do not want to go out, they get lazy, or they might be in a crappy mood-all because of the weather. Who says you have to be in a crappy mood because its raining?
Rain is much like our lives. The emotions and despair and sad times in our life rain represents. If you are unemployed, having relationship issues, having family issues, having life issues, that is rain. Every complication in our life is rain, because it can't always be sunny in our lives or we wont GROW.
Now it may not be pretty outside, but your attitude on it doesnt have to make your life miserable. It might even surprise you to do the opposite, to actually learn to smile in the rain because you know sunshine is coming soon. You know it doesnt rain forever!
Why sulk because its raining? Why sulk because your life is not "perfect" right now? Why be upset because you need some rain in your life to get an understanding and to grow. It rains outside because things need to grow and we need water to survive. We might not like it but the negative things in our lives happen because we need to grow and find ways to survive our adversity!
I hate the rain, the rain can mess up situations and throw a curveball in your life that was unexpectant, but crying while its raining is not going to make it better is it? When you watch movies or TV show when it rains it is usually a situation where something bad or dramatic is happening, but dont turn on the DRAMATICS in your life just because the weather sucks.
Its hard and its raining outside doesn't make the situation better, but believe sunshine is coming. The weather will be beautiful again and you will be even more happier because you was able to withstand the storm and now your able to enjoy the sun being out again.
Learn: Dont let the weather mess up your mood or life. Sometimes the rain is good so that you can wash away things that are unable to handle the storms, and when it all over beautiful things grow from it.
Friday, September 18, 2009
In the beginning of most relationship we try our best to put on the beautiful front that we are "perfect" and that there are barely an flaws with us. After the 6 month mark usually you start letting down some walls and breaking barriers, and maybe the REAL YOU starts to reveal. It may not necessarily be a bad thing, it just things you used to restrict yourself to the other person in fear they would JUDGE YOU. Try to make a great impression and put on this facade and cover up little things so that you wouldnt push them away.
But over time you get used to a person. You get so used to them you start to feel COMFORTABLE and that you can be YOURSELF! That is the best part that if after you can chill with someone with no restrictions, barriers, and reservations and they accept you FLAWS & ALL. When you are around that person you can let loose and just be free.
Its a deeper connnection as well when you reach that ultimate comfort zone with that person. When you are around that person you relax, laugh, and there is no fear in too much of anything because just being in their prescence makes you comfortable. You can be around them and things just feel "right" and there is no nervousness or timid feelings.
When you kiss them its natural. When you hug them its natural. When you cuddle with them its natural. Everything with that person is just a "natural chemistry" and doing things with them is just easy and effortless. Thats what makes the bond so strong that you are so comfortable with one another you do not have to think too hard to do things, you just do them and GO WITH THE FLOW.
When you find a person that you can "just be" with and everything fall into place, it is BEAUTIFUL. It wonderful because doesn't take too much to "impress" this person because they are impressed with the beauty of you alone.
Learn: One of the most important things in a relationship is being totally comfortable with the one you are with. Once your comfortable there will not be too many things that can destroy that bond unless you get TOO COMFORTABLE. When you finally comfortable with someone everything else will be natural and easy to trust them with the REAL YOU.
Well everyone has their own perception of what is important in their lives and what is SUPPOSE to matter. In reality people are so disillusion because they do not know the difference between what is SUPERFICIAL vs REAL so of course we can easily get things confused.
Little things should NOT matter. Something that is not going to last past next year should not matter. But the problem is that we cannot see the FUTURE should again how do we know if something matters or not? What should you invest your time in, what should you get rid of, what is important?
Your future is important. After a while you have to see what is ahead of you. What is your life plans? Do you hold the blueprint to your life or are your walking around in the dark with no flashlight? What is important is your HAPPINESS! What is important is your getting rid of things that are not going to fit into your master plans for the future.
Its okay to be confused about what matters because everything is based on trials and errors. But what you do need to pay attention is to your INTUITION. Do you get bad vibes around someone? Do you hear a little voice that says maybe this is not a good situation? Do you know the difference between what is a temporary feeling and what is a perment lingering feeling that wont go away?
What is going to make your life better? What is the solution to a problem? Most importantly what is LOGICAL?That is what matters the most is the logic of any situation if it is not going to make your life better or if it makes a situation worse.
We all have a little voice inside of us that speaks the truth in what matters. The voice is so little that we may not hear it very well or we ignore it, but the voice still speaks. Its up to us to open our ears and pay attention to what matters, before we keep surrounding ourselves with superfical, meanlingless, & disappointing things.
Learn: What matters the most is for you to move forward with your future goals and not backwards. Stop giving energy to things that you know in the LONG RUN does not matter. Only you can decifer what matters within yourself the answer will reveil itself or you will figure it out the hard way.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wouldnt it be great if the person that we always wanted appeared before your eyes. That person has the perfect figure, perfect face, perfect personality, almost as if they popped out of your Dreams? Everything you always wanted was right in front of you with NO FLAWS?
I think life was made for us to not have perfect relationship. There has to be some issues or problems in order to learn and grow from them. But I think the bulk of the reasons why alot of people get frustrated in relationships, men & woman, because we expect so much from a person and believe that if this person doesn't have want we want, there is that PERFECT SOMEONE out there.
Unfortunately we do not have the power to CREATE THE PERFECT MATE. Disney is dead and our reality cannot be made into one of our favorite childhood movies. We cannot expect that because our relationship is not as perfect as we alway imagined it to be that its easier to keep thinking "MR. or MS. PERFECT" is out there.
Even if you meet someone and they seem as if everything is great, minimal problems, there will always be a stimpulation somewhere down the line because that is LIFE. You wasn't raised in a perfect family, you dont have perfect friends, and look in the mirror & evalutate yourself that YOU ARE NOT PERFECT either. Everything is a work in progress, and unfortunately in life relationships are the hardest ones that will take a lifetime to master.
We aere not suppose to be in control of our relationships all the way. If we try to manipulate, be someone we are not, put n the fake face, create an illusion of a beautiful fairytale, the end result will turn into a horrible nightmare because WE ARE NOT THE CREATORS OF DESTINY. We are suppose to just follow the path and go in the right direction not try to reconstruct to make our own DESIGNER RELATIONSHIP. YOU WILL FAIL.
Just take the right path, even if the yellow brick road is long, it will be the journey that will take you home for a happy life & lasting relationship. Just dont try to force and recreate it, because the obstacles of reality are better than fake fairytales.
Learn: Walt Disney created the perfect fairytales. We are not the illustrators of our lives or our relationships. Sometimes things have to happen naturally through lessons and patience before we can appreciate our happily ever after.
She said this is when people actually dance, slow danced, and you could feel the chemistry instantly. It was romantic and pure, unlike today where the music is too fast to slow dance & not so romantic anymore.
Now being an 80s babies I have no clue what the 50's or 60s were like but I pretty sure it was beautiful. When men actually used to COURT (to try to obtain companionship) a female & swoon her.
- He would actually call not text her. If she was not home I am pretty sure he would call until he was able to reach her or leave a respectable message to return the call back.
- He would arrange real dates (not a time where you can "chill") and pick the girl up and drop her home.
- He would enjoy long walks in the park to get to know the girl on a deeper level and that would be considered romantic.
- He would write letters or poems expressing his love or his desire to be with the female. If he knew how to sing or play an instrument he would serenade her with a song.
- He would compliment the lady telling her that she was beautiful(not sexy) and you can see the sincerity in his eyes.
- When he did express himself to the woman, he would look her deep in her eyes and pour out his soul and say the most beautiful words that maybe in present day times we would only hear in movies.
- He wouldn't play games or lead the woman on. He would do everything he can to pursue & keep her in fear another man would take his place.
- He would be the perfect gentleman, care about his appearance, you could take him home to momma, and was responsible & generous.
- He would make sure he told the world that he loved his woman and no one could break that bond. If anyone had anything bad to say about his woman he would defend and fight for her.
- He would not rush things, he respected her, took his time so that she didnt feel pressured to do things until the the time was right (it wasnt about just sex and then off to the next).
- He wouldn't mind going out his way for his woman because she would be worth it and he wanted a future with her.
As my mom played the music I started to realize that maybe in this day in age we do have a disconnect when it comes to relationships. The reason why there we plenty of marriages and less divorces back in those days is because of how they handled their relationships. Everything I listed, I am not saying people do not do this today but it is not very common.
Now and days people are too angry, we all want to rush things, we want things our way, we are all a little too selfish, we focus on only today and not tomorrow, but most importantly we forget to put in that EXTRA EFFORT to obtain and keep the relationship going. People are not into the "romantic" spectrum of a relationship.
We do not express to each other on a regular how much we mean to each other anymore. We take each other for granted because people are like buses "miss one next 15 one is coming" mentality so the risk of losing your loved one is rare because we are always seeking a replacement.
Maybe we do need a little help. We needed to see more of loving relationships in the home. We need to see more examples of relationships lasting instead of hearing divorces & paternity testing on the rise. We do need to take it back to the old school and really FEEL love instead of just CLAIMING love or emotions. We need to reach a little deeper because the good old days are not gone, we just need to practice the art of ROMANCE again.
Learn: Music is not what makes a relationship but the atmosphere can set the mood. Do not forget to keep romance alive and the chemistry strong. Sometimes we have to slow dance to feel real Passion, instead of always speeding up the pace and it disintegrates.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
The best part about most relationshiops whether we think so or not is the "affection" part of it. Seeing someone and something as simple as a hug can make you feel closer to someone. The best part of affection to me is actually kissing someone.
When you kiss someone you can feel the instant chemistry or connection. If you kiss someone and do not feel it then you know there is nothing there. I love kissing (even if it isn't french) just to give that energy to someone lights me up. I like something as simple as holding someone's hand because again, that little gesture you can feel the energy. I love affection most of all because just being the the prescence of someone and their energy(especially if you have a strong connection) makes me feel ALIVE.
I know it seems like this is natural for me to say this because I am a FEMALE but men secretly crave affection as well. Yes men act hard, not the ones to express emotions, but what they do want is the touch of a female. Single or in a relationship men want affection just as much (if not more) than females do.
Iread in a book that men of course show their affection more with the usage of sex. Yes they enjoy cuddling, kissing, holding hands just like we do but they can express their affection better with sex. Now I know every female a man has sex with he doesnt have to have a "connection" with, but that is their way of recieving it. If they are single and they are bouncing from female to female, subconciosly that is their way of getting their affection. A great reason why men cheat is because if the girl they care about does not give them or cant give them the affection that he needs, then thats is why he will seek it in another woman.
Men can be hard, joke with the boys, watch sports, play games, etc...but at the end of the day deep down he wants to be near a gentle woman. Its all about balance. Women are naturally soft, nuturing, caring people in which we do sometimes need a man to embrace their rough side (not abuse though) as a sense of "security" and "masculinity". Men are naturally hard & need to be even out with the prescence of a "feminitiy" and just a touch of a woman can make a man feel complete.
The more affection you get from a person, the closer the bond and the more the connection is established. Sometimes you get around a person and its like a magnetic force and it pulls you closer to them. If you are lacking REAL affection: not just bouncing from person to person (sexually), not just dating for the sake of "dating", or you just do not have that special one near you at the moment---Dont settle for less than you desire just because you don't have it. Get as much as you want, when you want it, from the right person. Everybody doesn't deserve your affection-unless the connection with that person is REAL and cant be ignored.
Learn: Affection is what all of us needs. When we have that incomplete & lonely feeling, its because we desire that human connection touch from a special person. Remember the more positive affection you have with a person--the stronger the bond will be. Its beautiful.