Saturday, September 5, 2009

NUMB


So I no longer can cry like this chick in this photo. Seriously...I think so much has happened so much in my life that I literally have no more tears left to cry.

I feel like tears do NOTHING. Its a stupid emotion and I been hurt and disappointed so much within the last couple of months I feel like there is nothing left. I feel like even if I am sad, there is a void to where I cant cry or even be upset anymore. Its almost like an emptiness feeling...I am numb to alot now.

This is not going to be a depressing post at all. I just think after all that is said and done, what is left to cry about? What is left? I feel like as soon as I am content or I get too happy, a DISASTER happens. So once you go through to many of them-you get emotionally stripped.

I am emotionally worn out. I am not bitter though. I do not walk around mad or hating the world or being negative. I just take it for what it is and believe it could be worse, or this is what I signed up for.We all signed up for this adventure called "Life" and I am on the roller coaster ride called "Life Sucks"...eventually this ride will end and hopefully soon.

What I am learning from this "numbness" that if this is making me "hard" or if this is as low as I can go...then there is no where to go now but UP. I have to turn my life around, my outlook, my demeanor, and be STRONG because that is the only thing I can be.

I cant worry about why me, or how come I keep getting hurt...I been there and done that too many times at my young age. I have to be a strong young woman and continue to fight. Fight for my desires, what I need and just stay determined and most importantly OPTIMISTIC...

CRYING IS NOT THE ANSWER ANYMORE. THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO CRY ABOUT.

Learn: To emotionally gather the strength to fight against everything that hurts. Stay positive and even if you are emotionally tapped out (numb) it is not the end. Something good always comes out of something bad. Always.

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