Thursday, December 3, 2009
Now why do couples fight? Duh because people DO NOT COMMUNICATE PROPERLY! Someone is bottling their emotions, someone is expelling their emotions too much, there is aggression & frustration because someone in the relationship is not satified. Someone has to be right or someone has to be wrong, but that shouldn't be the case.
The issue is lack of listening and compassion for the other person. One person might be really reaching out to their partner, the partner have their own agenda and maybe doesnt see the other person's point of view like they should. The hardest part of a relationship is to continue to UNDERSTAND one another.
Fighting is normal in relationships. Sometimes its neccessary because it gets out a problem that hasn't been solves. But the problem persist if the couple does not come up with a lasting solution. Every problem equals a solution! A solution is not a screaming match. A solution is not ignoring the problem. A solution is COMPROMISING with your partner and listening and doing things so that this same issue doesnt arise again.
Remember its a relationship...and when it is a union it is no longer and just YOU it is about the BOTH OF YOU. Know that you will not always see eye to eye, that isn't the formula of a perfect relationship. The formula for a good, long-lasting relationship is CONSISTENCY and the value that when an issues arised the both of you can SOLVE it together.
Learn: To put the boxing gloves down in your relationship. You dont have to come to blows to get your point across. Work on any problems with a solution and their will be less fighting matches in the future. Dont knock your relationship out!
This is not a male bashing post at all. Its actually some motivation because I am starting to see that alot of "men" are not motivated and believe that have all the time in the world to get their lives together...but they do not. Yes when you are young you are suppose to be confuse and unaware of what is ahead of you...but when you get to a certain point in your life MEN NEED TO START PLANNING FOR THEIR FUTURE.
This is just an observation of mine, but some men just seem like they are continuing to drag their feet, with no direction, just going where the wind blows and life is literally passing them by. They wake up and do the same routine everyday with not plans for a future for tomorrow. Its like life is just there, and they are just in it. That is truly sad because that is not what life is about!
Goals are made to be accomplished, but there is nothing to accomplished if there are NO GOALS. Plan to succeed...it does not fall in your lap. Stop making excuses for why you can't be a better MAN! A man is strong, confident, and know in order to be ahead of the pack he must PUSH himself to the top and prove himself that he is QUALITY and fit to achieve what he desires.
I am observing a bunch of laziness. I am also obseving that this menality forms in groups so its more likely a man will be less motivated to achieve his highest potential if all of his friends and associations are in the same situation. Living just to survive is NOT living. Live to your HIGHEST POTENTIAL and do not stop until you have recieve the benefits that you believe you truly deserve. Stop thinking that you have plenty of time to get it together in the future, because work workings in the present is YOUR FUTURE. You will wake up several years from now disappointed and your shortcomings because you rather have played with what you wanted and didnt seek after what you needed.
If you put you mind to this way of thinking, then sooner than later you will stop being confused and start being a TRUE MAN.
Please men find yourself sooner than later...
Learn: The struggle of the male to learn to listen to and respect his own intuitive, inner prompting is the greatest challenge of all. His conditioning has been so powerful that it has all but destroyed his ability to be self-aware. - Herb Goldberg
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Ok I know another Rihanna inspired post but this one is a deep one and you can take it how u desire (but again read the disclaimer at the top). So she has a song called "Russian Roulette" and at first I didnt quite understand where she was going with this but now it makes so much sense. People on a regular basis are playing Russian Roulette with their relationships. Its a game...a very dangerous game that can be fatal if it goes too far.
Russian Roulette definition: a stunt in which you spin the cylinder of a revolver that is loaded with only one bullet and then point the muzzle at your head and pull the trigger.
Its a sick, twisted game but this is what people are doing with their relationships everyday. People are dying everyday in their relationships and its not even covered on the news...People are taking a gun with a single bullet and pointing it at their heads hoping their relationship is still safe. One's heart is beating and they are praying that the love is not going to end in this matter. People know its a bad situation, a situation in which if you keep playing long enough the fate is going to be a BAD one.
Its self infliction, its dangerous, it is borderline suicide!! But yet everyone keeps playing! The reasons people keep playing is because obvious its still standing. The bullet in the relationship is always dodged and everything seems to be okay...until its time to play again. Once a person starts to play Russian Roulette again, the pressure is on hoping that once again the bullet will not be released and it will be the last time you with that person again. But what will happen if you do pull that trigger and its ALL OVER??
Is that what you want? Do you want it to be all over secretly...or are you holding on and praying that you will keep dodging this bullet. That you will always be lucky and that this situation will never be FATAL. But it will...and you know it. Think about it...its a bullet in a gun! While that bullet is in that gun...there is a HIGH possiblity this is not going to last. This game will eventually hurt you...and the more you play, the higher the odds will be that things will DESTRUCT and it will not be pretty.
The only way you can save yourself and the relationship now is to change the game. If there is no bullets in the gun..then there is no danger right? Exactly! for the relationship to be healthy and to survive you need to remove all bullets out of a gun. A loaded gun in a relationship is playing Russian Roulette and is a scary gamble. Do you like to scare yourself? Do you like to be in fear with your heart beating out of your chest?! Is that your solution to hold your breath, close your eyes, count, and pray for the best?
If you are gonna do all of that just pull the trigger RIGHT NOW! Just pull it! And when you pull it, pull it in CONFIDENCE and if you make it out of it alive you and your partner needs to remove the bullets and never play this game again! It should be over and move on and play a less fatal game...otherwise be prepared for your ultimate desmised. Remember you've been warned and you did it to YOURSELF if you do not make it.
Learn: If you are playing a game of Russian Roulette know thatyou put yourself in this situation. You can walk away and choose not to play anymore, or you pull the trigger and hope you make it out alive. Make your decision wisely, because this game is FATAL and also remember your the one who gets hurt in the end while your partner watches you suffer.
Rihanna- Russian Roulette (offical video)
But when a good girl is gone is she gone forever? Possibly...possibly not. Most good girl do tread bad girl terroritory because they want to feel what it is like on the other side. Is she respected more? Is she more dominate? Is she getting everything she wants? Yes maybe temporarily...
Yes I am not gonna lie, I have a bad girl side sometimes. But I am FOREVER a good girl. Not because I want to portray and sweet and innocent image, but because in my opinion the good girl will finish and the bad girl will not. yes even if we finish LAST we will finish, while the BAD girl will always struggle for temporarily happiness instead of lasting happiness. She will settle for what she think she is in control of...but in reality things are controlling her for self descruction. You can only be "bad" for so long and then of course BAD things are gonna start happening. That is to be expected...just as if you are a good girl, GOOD things will happen.
So yes good girls can be bad, but play it as a role not a solution. It shouldn't be her entire being because in the long-run it really isnt cute. I think guys prefer to wife a good woman than a bad one. They are more trustworthy.
Learn: Good girls have more of a value than a bad girl will ever have. But good girls can be bad sometimes, just as long as it is for a short-term. Good girls will always finish, even if it is last!
Rihanna feat.Jeezy - "Hard"