Tuesday, September 8, 2009


I dedicated this post to one of my closest friends (she know who she is). You shared with me what has been happening and I want to relate to you...THE TRUTH.

They always say "the truth hurts" and it does. We always demand the truth, ask someone to be honest, dont lie, and when the truth is revealed what do you do with it? Especially if it is something you didnt want to hear...if it is something painful and heartbreaking?

When the truth is revealed that someone kept a secret, they have been lying to you, the did something deceitful behind your back...all the while when they wanted you to "trust" them. So now that you know the truth, will you cut them off or will you work through it?

You shared with me that you are at crossroads...you are confused at what to do. I know its difficult because you asked for the "truth" and now the "truth" might ruin your relationship. Will you forgive or will you move on? It doesn't matter if it was a "one time" thing...its been done and it was WRONG!

But is it wrong for you to still care for that person? Is it wrong to still have feelings for this person who betrayed you even if what they did hurt you to the core? Is it wrong to still want to work through it and try to give him another chance?

Does he feel guilt? Does he think about what he did and how this hurts you? Does he not understand that what you guys shared he shared with someone else? While you were giving him the benefit of the doubt, even though you were miles apart, you TRUSTED him and he did "his thing". You stayed true, kept to yourself, because you were LOYAL!

LOYALTY & TRUST goes hand in hand. He broke both of those bonds with LIES. So will you be able to bounce back from that? While you cry to yourself, does he even care? Does he understand your pain hit hard not because of the "situation" but because you and him had HISTORY, not a day, weeks, months, but years of a CONNECTION! That is why it hurts right?

I bet he doesnt even understand that yes the truth hurts you, but the lies hurt even more. That you were blinded because you wanted to believe he was HONEST. You wanted to have that glimmer of hope that he "was not like the other guys, he wouldn't do that"at least not to you. Yes you guys relationship was complicated, and the title was a little unclear...but what was clear that you guys had a CONNECTION that had the potential to grow into a beautiful relationship...and because of his SELFISHNESS things might change.

So what do you do with the TRUTH my friend? That is the million dollar question, and as I told you yesterday which ever decision you make just remember the BIG PICTURE. Does that person who lied to you can you see yourself with him long-term? Do you see his other qualities as good and maybe he can be trustworthy again? Will it be hard to let go because you know he is THE ONE? Do you LOVE him so much that maybe deep down inside you can see yourself getting past this because people do make stupid mistakes(even if it is out of selfishness).

I know the TRUTH hurts but at least your not in the DARK blind-sighted by lies which will carry over for months or even years because he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Be happy the truth is out and moving forward there can be some resolution---instead of just believing or ASSUMING he was being faithful the entire time (TRUST ME I KNOW).

I rather know the painful truth with my eyes open wide, than be a fool in the dark and keep living lies.

Learn: The truth always comes out...but its up to you to make a decision on what to do with it. Dont have a relationship where you are being deceived, at least know and accept the TRUTH- then deal with it accordingly.


  1. Let THAT truth set you free friend!! Free yourself from the bull-ish.

  2. Wow. I feel this post. I just experienced the same situation as your friend, and I had to let the relationship go, because I cannot condone cheating.

    If he's into you, he wouldn't cheat. bottom line.

  3. Its true. Men have an internal instinct to cheat and they act on them all the time.

    For once, IDK whats wrong with the new age young men today but they just cannot stop the urge to cheat. But if you love someone I do believe in second chances if that person is sincere & remorseful for what they did and learned from it to not do it AGAIN.

    Only if you see a long-term future with the person and you know of them at one point to be a faithful person.(I hope that doesnt come off hypocritcal).