Monday, September 14, 2009


I just did my blog on LOSING BELONGINGS and now I want to focus on when people depend on people too much in a relationship that they LOSE THEMSELVES!

I never understood how people get into a relationship and solely "depend" on that person for everything. Its like that person becomes their life supply & they can't leave the relationship because they will not have anything. I am specifically talking about females who think they need to be with a man for "financial reasons" the most.

They are unhappy, they want to cheat, they want to run because their boyfriend is getting on their nerves. But no matter how miserable they are they cannot leave because he pretty much takes care of that person and without him she can't survive properly. Or maybe the girl is not miserable, maybe she is content in the relationship because her man give her everything...

But there is something wrong with that. In a way you will need to be self-sufficient because if something happens then what? Would that girl leave the guy? Would she find another "provider" who can take care of her and start the cycle again? Or would she step up to the plate and do what is necessary to reverse roles and take care of her man? The later option rarely happens with most females who are dependent on a man.

Its great if your boyfriend is supportive & a great provider and he does what is necessary to make sure the girl and him is taken care of, but sometimes it also handicaps these females. I have friends who if their boyfriends broke up with them today, they would be so lost & confused and feel like they do not know what to do.

This is how some girls LOSE themselves. They wont get a job because thats what their boyfriend is there for. They wont go to school or aspire to do something better for themselves because their boyfriend is going to always give them what they want and need(financially) so there is no point on doing anything extra. There are some females who have to put up with so much of the dependency that they might have a controlling or even abusive boyfriend and they mentally strip that girl of even her freedom(because he is in control).

Nothing is wrong with wanting a man to take care of you. As woman we are seeking strong, stable men who can be great providers not only for us, but for the future foundation of possibly a family. I kind of understand why there are some lost females and they are so dependent on other men because they lack that "strong male provider figure" in the household so they seek in into adulthood.

My point in this post is just NEVER just solely depend on anyone for your STABILITY. Even emotionally do not give all of yourself to one person and you have nothing left. You have to be in CONTROL of you and YOUR DESIRES. If you give someone the power to make you feel as if without them you are stuck, it will be your own fault. BE STRONG and learn to HELP YOURSELF.

**Please try not to put yourself in a situation where your FORCED to be with someone because of the dependency, not because you truly want to be with them.

Learn: Dependency can isolate you. There is a difference between having someone support you and just depending on someone for everything. Make sure you have some control in your life or you will be a SLAVE to your relationship.

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