Wednesday, July 15, 2009

July 15th: A Day Always Remembered

Today is a personal day for me. I actually forgot today was the 15th but thanks to my friend Mesa who's baby turn three today (Happy Bday Kyra) reminded me.

I am not going to say too much on why this day will not be forgotten. Its very personal and something I do not speak of often. I only tell people who are extremely close to me and they are aware or they were around when this happened.

Its painful to think about but it was a few years ago so each year I am able to be a stronger person about the situation. Its life...and certain things could have been changed or done differently. IDK...

I sometimes wonder what if this didnt happen, how drastically different would my life have been? I can wonder all day but I live in the present. July 15th today is not July 15th of a few years ago.

I am not going to lie and say I am not still hurt by the situation, because I am. I am human and there are certain things you cant take back. One day its all going to be very clear and I wont feel this weird pang everytime I think about what happned on this day.

Most people probably will never guess what this situation is about because its the total opposite of what people expect of me or what people know of my characteristics. As stated only the real tight knit people know...not even family members know.

I want to be able to trust a special person to reveal what happened this day one day. To tell everything and all of my feelings. It will give someone more of an understanding about me alittle bit and maybe things will make alot more sense. I feel like I am always carry this deep dark secret or burden in me, and I would like to be able to trust someone(besides the few who already know) with this "day" and get it off my chest. To have one more person as a person I can really trust and they understand and possibly feel for me...But for now I will just keep it to myself.

Again just another experience where I had to Live & Learn. And I did...

July 15th Never Forgotten...

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