DOES IT KILL YOU?

Love is so painful. Well it can be. As beautiful as the emotion of love can be it can cut right through you like a knife. Leaving you breathless, in despair, suffering as if your heart is broken. Life is meaningless and someone that you love so dearly is making your heart ache. Its killing you!!

Love is not meant to kill you! Yes it is the worst emotional pain one can go through because it almost feels like death itself. The person may not have died, but if they are out of your life you mourn them like they are dead. You may feel like everyday you are alive without them that you are slowin dying because they are no longer near you. Why would you wanna live without love? Its like taking candy from a baby...taking love from the lover. But real love is not suppose to make you feel like this. Its suppose to be beautiful, but things doesnt always go according to plan.

You fall in love. You love each other. Everything is all good until someone rejects the processes and sort of ends it without the other one not being ready. Someone hurts the other one, and in most cases with no regaurd on the pain that it will scar them with. Its almost like shooting the person in the heart, to watch them bleed as suffer a little, and them walk away like it never happened. That is how heartbreak feels right? Like the other person has no remorse and they literally have injured you and walked away. Worst feeling in the world.

When you heart is "broken" you feel like it will never be repaired by anyone else but the one who broke it. It is not as simple as supergluing it back together. The bad thing is that most of the time we have to repair our own heart and hope that it will work as good as new, so when love finds us again we are able to remember how good it felt. But sometimes it leave scars and bruises and love is hard to obtain again...

But you are alive. Love has not killed you! Sure it is painful, the recovery process is even more painful. But you cannot die of a brokenheart. Its really interesting that even after someone has injured our heart, left us with our hearts open-wide and bleeding love for them and turn their backs on us, that we will still LOVE them as if they didnt do this to us. The power of love doesnt die! So whether you can move on from the person who initally broke your heart, or maybe somewhere down the line find a way to make it work with that person...love still exsist. It hasnt kill you and it wont kill you!

I wrote this blog because of 3 things that in life we will all learn. We are gonna have to live, to experience love and of course to LEARN by it. When you live, you love, with love you learn. Life is Love, Love is Learning. Get it? Live. Love. Learn.

LEARN: Love isnt something that can end your life. It is painful to say the least but in a twisted way it actually makes you stronger. Once your heart has been injured & then it heals, it you allow it to heal properly love can return in your life in a benefical way. Just make sure who you expose your heart to handles it with care, because love is not suppose to be painful.

Melanie Fiona - It Kills Me

ATTRACTION DISSATISFACTION?

Ok so lets speak some truths. Us as human beings we base things on first impressions. Before you even speak to a person, what do you notice? Its always the PHYSICAL APPERRANCE and this is the main thing that can get people confused what they want in a relationship. Let me explain.

So when one is seeking a mate, its always usually based on attraction. There is nothing wrong with that because again as humans we are programmed sometimes to go off of looks first. And that is fine and everything but then we as people need to not give credit to people when credit is not due. Just because someone "looks good" to you does not mean you give them a pass.

Have you ever held onto someone who you know was treating you wrong, but you didnt want to break up because they were physically attractive to you? You love looking at them, and because "they looked good" you didnt want to break up? How about giving them chance after chance knowing good and well they do not deserve another change. Have you ever asked yourself if this person wasn't so attractive would you keep tolerating their nonsense? Just because theyare cute you are gonna keep letting them get away with murder??!

I think we not only get blinded by love, we get blinded by looks. In my post BUTTERFACE vs. BUTTERHEART was about I shed light on people who may be attactive but doesnt have good heart vs someone who isnt as attractive but with a heart of gold. If you were dating someone slightly not as attractive as you prefer it would be easier for one to dismiss them and not give as many chances, because subconciously you feel they may not be to "your standards" and it would be easier for you to get rid of them.

It would be so much easier if people's physical attraction were based on their heart & sincerity. If a person has a nasty attitude and are selfish & mean, then they should have an unattractive look to match their personality. Same with a person with a sincere heart, sweet, giving nice personality should be attactive people. Unfortunately it doesnt work that way so we have to see past the physical to get to know the real them.

The real them is not their "physical apperance". Just because they look good doesnt mean they are a good person. Again you should not hold onto a person just because you love looking at them and that they are sexy to you. Looks fade after time, so if a person's looks are decieving you then you need to see past that and see the truth.

The truth comes with action. Forget how cute, sexy, attractive a person looks to you...pay attention to the actions and how they make you feel. Do you feel good because your with an attractive person or do you feel good because this person shows you genuinely how much they care about you. That is what matters.

The truth is after awhile, a person's attraction based on their actions can lead you to dissatisfaction with them. Do not tell yourself lies that this wonderful looking god/godess is not doing wrong when they clearly are, you need to look past their pretty face. Their looks have nothing to do with them, that is genetics from their parents so credit is not due to them for that. What credit is due is when they are a nice person genuninely and they treat you good. Now if they have a good face with a matching good spirit then you hit the JACKPOT. Other than that, if this attractive person has unattractive qualities...you might need to re-evaulate some things.

Learn: Looks are decieving. Look at a person's spirit rather than their face to judge their character. Their insides tells more truths than their genetics, so do not let good genes blind you and get you hurt in the long run.

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Are you pursuing happiness? If you are searching for happiness that is your problem right there! You are not suppose to search for something that is within you!

People say it all the time "I just wanna be happy" "where can I find real happiness" "I hope I find happiness". The funny thing is that its not too far and away that you can be happy. So ask yourself this question "Why am I not happy"?

Most people response could be
1.Because I am unemployed
2.Because I have financial issues
3.Because I have relationship issues
4.Because I am lonely

and so on and so on...so here is the other problem. If any of those things are making you unhappy what is gonna happen if you do fixes thoses isses? If you get a job is that going to automatically make you "happy"? If you fix your financial issues is that gonna make you "happy"? If you finally have the perfect relationship and have lots of friends and people around you is that gonna fulfill your happiness void?

If you said yes to any of those questions I feel very sorry for you. The reason I say that because those are considered minor issues that if you are not happy before you get those things then how are you gonna be really happy when you do get them. If you get a job that is suppose to boost your happiness. If you have money to pay your bills, that makes you stable and keeps your happiness at bay with less stress. If you have a great relationship it is only gonna work in the first place if you are happy prior to meeting your mate, nobody wants to date someone who is depressed and not happy with themselves. Same with having friends and people around you.

Honestly I think the people who are "pursuing happiness" it probably takes a lot to make them happy. Again the little things does not make them happy but it has to be something BIG to really put a smile on their face, and again that is sad. So many people are so unappreciative of the little things that can make them happy so they are pursuing a BIG BREAK DREAM and so the rest of their life is not as fulfilling because it is not achieved yet.

Here is a secret that I am still learning. Appreciate the small things in life now that make you happy so that when you really get something that makes you happy in a big way you can feel it all around you stronger. You cant take things for granted now, complain about what you dont have because there is so much to be happy about. For example seeing a little kid laugh, watching something that makes you happy/laugh, reading a good book, enjoying beautiful weather, eating your favorite food, etc...That might sound like some lame stuff to say but again you might be one of those people who are HARD to make and keep happy.

Now being stressed out in certain situations can make happiness hard to obtain sometimes, but that doesnt mean it not available. Happiness doesnt mean you get your way all the time and life is perfect and if that is what your looking for, you will be looking for a lifetime disappointed. Happiness is what you make it, so stop being difficult and go have it already! Its right there! Easy access inside of you.


**Oh and you are the only one who can get it for you, it is not someone else responsibility to make YOU happy.***


Video: Mary J Blige- Be Happy


Learn: Happiness is not something you have to "find" its a way of life. Happiness is the easiest thing in life to obtain but don't make it hard to have when it is right under your nose.

Say this: The best things in life are not only free, the best things in life lives inside of me.

TIRED OF FIGHTING

Relationship, love, bliss, and fights. Yes that is what it comes down to sometimes in a cycle...can the fighting end?

Now why do couples fight? Duh because people DO NOT COMMUNICATE PROPERLY! Someone is bottling their emotions, someone is expelling their emotions too much, there is aggression & frustration because someone in the relationship is not satified. Someone has to be right or someone has to be wrong, but that shouldn't be the case.

The issue is lack of listening and compassion for the other person. One person might be really reaching out to their partner, the partner have their own agenda and maybe doesnt see the other person's point of view like they should. The hardest part of a relationship is to continue to UNDERSTAND one another.

Fighting is normal in relationships. Sometimes its neccessary because it gets out a problem that hasn't been solves. But the problem persist if the couple does not come up with a lasting solution. Every problem equals a solution! A solution is not a screaming match. A solution is not ignoring the problem. A solution is COMPROMISING with your partner and listening and doing things so that this same issue doesnt arise again.

Remember its a relationship...and when it is a union it is no longer and just YOU it is about the BOTH OF YOU. Know that you will not always see eye to eye, that isn't the formula of a perfect relationship. The formula for a good, long-lasting relationship is CONSISTENCY and the value that when an issues arised the both of you can SOLVE it together.

Learn: To put the boxing gloves down in your relationship. You dont have to come to blows to get your point across. Work on any problems with a solution and their will be less fighting matches in the future. Dont knock your relationship out!

GET IT TOGETHER SOONER THAN LATER

This is specifically for the men. This is moreso for men over the age of 21. I have news for you and please listen closely: Get it together sooner than later!

This is not a male bashing post at all. Its actually some motivation because I am starting to see that alot of "men" are not motivated and believe that have all the time in the world to get their lives together...but they do not. Yes when you are young you are suppose to be confuse and unaware of what is ahead of you...but when you get to a certain point in your life MEN NEED TO START PLANNING FOR THEIR FUTURE.

This is just an observation of mine, but some men just seem like they are continuing to drag their feet, with no direction, just going where the wind blows and life is literally passing them by. They wake up and do the same routine everyday with not plans for a future for tomorrow. Its like life is just there, and they are just in it. That is truly sad because that is not what life is about!

Goals are made to be accomplished, but there is nothing to accomplished if there are NO GOALS. Plan to succeed...it does not fall in your lap. Stop making excuses for why you can't be a better MAN! A man is strong, confident, and know in order to be ahead of the pack he must PUSH himself to the top and prove himself that he is QUALITY and fit to achieve what he desires.

I am observing a bunch of laziness. I am also obseving that this menality forms in groups so its more likely a man will be less motivated to achieve his highest potential if all of his friends and associations are in the same situation. Living just to survive is NOT living. Live to your HIGHEST POTENTIAL and do not stop until you have recieve the benefits that you believe you truly deserve. Stop thinking that you have plenty of time to get it together in the future, because work workings in the present is YOUR FUTURE. You will wake up several years from now disappointed and your shortcomings because you rather have played with what you wanted and didnt seek after what you needed.

If you put you mind to this way of thinking, then sooner than later you will stop being confused and start being a TRUE MAN.

Please men find yourself sooner than later...

Learn: The struggle of the male to learn to listen to and respect his own intuitive, inner prompting is the greatest challenge of all. His conditioning has been so powerful that it has all but destroyed his ability to be self-aware. - Herb Goldberg

PULL THE TRIGGER (ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP)

Disclaimer: Before you read further...I am not talking in the literal sense! This is strictly a metaphorical post so do not go get an actual gun and do something stupid! Read between the lines please...

Ok I know another Rihanna inspired post but this one is a deep one and you can take it how u desire (but again read the disclaimer at the top). So she has a song called "Russian Roulette" and at first I didnt quite understand where she was going with this but now it makes so much sense. People on a regular basis are playing Russian Roulette with their relationships. Its a game...a very dangerous game that can be fatal if it goes too far.

Russian Roulette definition: a stunt in which you spin the cylinder of a revolver that is loaded with only one bullet and then point the muzzle at your head and pull the trigger.

Its a sick, twisted game but this is what people are doing with their relationships everyday. People are dying everyday in their relationships and its not even covered on the news...People are taking a gun with a single bullet and pointing it at their heads hoping their relationship is still safe. One's heart is beating and they are praying that the love is not going to end in this matter. People know its a bad situation, a situation in which if you keep playing long enough the fate is going to be a BAD one.

Its self infliction, its dangerous, it is borderline suicide!! But yet everyone keeps playing! The reasons people keep playing is because obvious its still standing. The bullet in the relationship is always dodged and everything seems to be okay...until its time to play again. Once a person starts to play Russian Roulette again, the pressure is on hoping that once again the bullet will not be released and it will be the last time you with that person again. But what will happen if you do pull that trigger and its ALL OVER??

Is that what you want? Do you want it to be all over secretly...or are you holding on and praying that you will keep dodging this bullet. That you will always be lucky and that this situation will never be FATAL. But it will...and you know it. Think about it...its a bullet in a gun! While that bullet is in that gun...there is a HIGH possiblity this is not going to last. This game will eventually hurt you...and the more you play, the higher the odds will be that things will DESTRUCT and it will not be pretty.

The only way you can save yourself and the relationship now is to change the game. If there is no bullets in the gun..then there is no danger right? Exactly! for the relationship to be healthy and to survive you need to remove all bullets out of a gun. A loaded gun in a relationship is playing Russian Roulette and is a scary gamble. Do you like to scare yourself? Do you like to be in fear with your heart beating out of your chest?! Is that your solution to hold your breath, close your eyes, count, and pray for the best?

If you are gonna do all of that just pull the trigger RIGHT NOW! Just pull it! And when you pull it, pull it in CONFIDENCE and if you make it out of it alive you and your partner needs to remove the bullets and never play this game again! It should be over and move on and play a less fatal game...otherwise be prepared for your ultimate desmised. Remember you've been warned and you did it to YOURSELF if you do not make it.

Learn: If you are playing a game of Russian Roulette know thatyou put yourself in this situation. You can walk away and choose not to play anymore, or you pull the trigger and hope you make it out alive. Make your decision wisely, because this game is FATAL and also remember your the one who gets hurt in the end while your partner watches you suffer.

Rihanna- Russian Roulette (offical video)

WHY GOOD GIRLS GO BAD!!!

Every bad girl was initial a good girl. So what exactly makes a girl girl go bad? Bad people and situations of course!

Most girls grow up like sugar & spice & everything nice. We are precious and sweet and so innocent & angelic. We are suppose to be "pure" and pretty much almost as untouchable as the Virgin Mary herself. We grow up playing with Barbie dolls & dressing up to one day to grow up to be beautiful woman...hopefully Beautiful "Good" Women. But as well get older things can take a left if lead in the wrong path.

So we grow up into adolescence some of the females are still pure and innoncent-like and good girls. We get a little older and might be exposed to bad people or bad situation that might taint the good girl's image. They might try to be a good girl, but then someone show her some "bad" things. Someone might break this "good girl" heart. Someone screwed this good girl too many times!!!! The Good girl also starts to finish last and might want to reconsider being on the "Good Girl List" . Then she goes HARD!

The once sweet, nice, good girl turn bad because someone didnt respect her as a "good girl". The Good girl got ran over and misused. The good girl was ignored while all the BAD GIRL reaped the benefits of what the good girls lacks. She doesn't pain easily, she has a hard exterior and has an attitude that you can't touch her because SHE is in CONTROL! She is tired of playing "nice" and lives life under different rules & standards because she gets a different kind of respect. Rihanna is of course a great example of this no need to go into details...

But when a good girl is gone is she gone forever? Possibly...possibly not. Most good girl do tread bad girl terroritory because they want to feel what it is like on the other side. Is she respected more? Is she more dominate? Is she getting everything she wants? Yes maybe temporarily...

Yes I am not gonna lie, I have a bad girl side sometimes. But I am FOREVER a good girl. Not because I want to portray and sweet and innocent image, but because in my opinion the good girl will finish and the bad girl will not. yes even if we finish LAST we will finish, while the BAD girl will always struggle for temporarily happiness instead of lasting happiness. She will settle for what she think she is in control of...but in reality things are controlling her for self descruction. You can only be "bad" for so long and then of course BAD things are gonna start happening. That is to be expected...just as if you are a good girl, GOOD things will happen.

So yes good girls can be bad, but play it as a role not a solution. It shouldn't be her entire being because in the long-run it really isnt cute. I think guys prefer to wife a good woman than a bad one. They are more trustworthy.

Learn: Good girls have more of a value than a bad girl will ever have. But good girls can be bad sometimes, just as long as it is for a short-term. Good girls will always finish, even if it is last!

Rihanna feat.Jeezy - "Hard"