I am freely able to write and express myself very strongly on this subject because I have to admit I "was" a backpocket chick for the longest time. So I am doing the follow-up on the introduction of the BackPocket Chick and go into the mind of one. Most of what I am about to write next is coming from my own personal thought experiences & hope that this comes off relatable to others females who were also "BackPocket chicks".
So if you are not familiar yet on who is the BackPocket Chick please get aware of her here in which you might be surprised that you know this girl very well. She is the good girl who pretty much go hard for a guy who does not reciprocate the same passion she does for him. She is Miss Patiently Waiting for her Frog to turn into Prince Charming. She is not the alternative, she is the main objective of the guy's desire but she gets put into the mix of his confusion of his lifestyle and she wonders when will her man get his act together?
Miss BackPocket Chick is a lady that is usually the good girl. She goes out her way for her man, does things for him(and only him), she adores the ground this mans walks on, she is faithful to him, she is consistent with him, she does everything the perfect girlfriend would do but yet she is still not fully appreciated. She constently wonders what is it that she is doing wrong that is not making this guy take her 100% seriously.
Is she not pretty enough? Is she not doing enough? Has she upset him? Most importantly, is there another girl that has her man's attention? Hopefully that is not the case, because if that might be the case she does everything in her power to make sure her guy does not stray. She make sure that she doesnt pick petty arguements, she becomes tolerant of things she probably wasn't tolerant of before, she does things that makes him happy...and yet she is still coming up short? What is going on? Miss BackPocket Chick is completely devestated because she sees her Prince Charming right there ready to evolve into the man that he is suppose to be but still croaking like a Frog. Ribbit! Ribbit!
She is thinking "I am not the side-line chick. I am THE chick!". She spends alot of time & energy with her man, she is pretty happy with the fact that she has most of his attention & gets the quality time but there is still something missing. Her man seems to continuely do things to almost push her away. She either has to make a decision to not put up with his stupid foolishness or wait for him to come around. She puts up with his stupid foolishness. She always has to hear the same old speech from him "Im not ready" "I need my space right now" "Let me get myself together" "I dont know what I want right now". She heard it all too many times, and yet Miss BackPocket Chick is still waiting. Why is she waiting?What is wrong with her?
What is wrong with Miss BackPocket Chick is simply that she is in love with that man. She is head over heels, cloud 9 bliss, stop-the-traffic she found "The One" type of of love. She is ultimately doing everything in her power not to loose the love of her life. She is terrified one little wrong mistake can ruin everything she worked so hard to gain. She feels like her every move is reviewed under a microscope to him. She feels she cannot risk to show one little flaw or error because he will leave her. She is literally walking on eggshells to keep him around. Why would she want that type of love in the first place? Why would she always want to be with a man to always live in a world of paranoia just to keep him?
Love makes the BackPocket Chick to crazy things but most importantly she has is Faith. She might sound crazy, in others eyes some people believe well she is stupid to keep putting up with the same crap that another man would probably appreciate her better over, but its deeper than that. What most people fail to realize is the strength of the BackPocket Chick & her man's relationship. They have history, they have been through alot, and they might be in love. Its easier said than done just to try to move on. But again she has a strong faith in her relationship with that man that she is not willing to give up easily. She fears the moment she gives up, another woman will pick up where they left off and she was not gonna have that. To her is just NOT FAIR! She worked hard! She doesn't want anyone else, only him.
People have to understand as well the BackPocket Chick is a very smart & classy girl. She is what most men would love to "wife" one day and she is ultimately doing her best to show that man her full potential of lasting stability with her. There is something that he man told her that keeps her holding on. She has strong faith that even though he is confused now, that eventually he will come around and fully be stable with her. That is her #1 desire is a stable, lasting & loving 100% dedicated relationship with him with NO BOUNDARIES. She see the future with him very clear but he doesnt see that same vision right now.The BackPocket Chick has cried many days just wondering why isnt all of her hard work & dedication not being appreciated? Why wont he fully commit himself to her? What does she have to prove to him once and for all that she is "The One".
A little tip for anyone who is currently feeling like a BPC. Its not up to you to continue to convince Mr.Frog that you are "The One". That is his decision. Trust and believe you are doing a great job with him because if you wasn't he wouldn't of kept you around of as long as he did. You must be doing something right for him to continue to be a big part of his life. The problem with Mr.Frog is that he is not ready to be Mr.Prince Charming and kissing him a thousand times is not gonna make him evolve any quicker. Maybe he is the guy you always have dreamt of, the perfect man you have been waiting, your personal fairytale man come true, but unfortunatly you cannot rush your happy ending.
Mr.Frog is content right now being a frog. He doesn't see the value of become a human Prince and living a wonderful life with a great woman. He likes being in his muddy, damp, mucky enviroment and you trying to pursuade him that your grass is greener is evidently not working. What is happening is that you are removing yourself from your nice enviroment, and dealing with his undesirable living conditions in hopes of your patience will lead him to transform into Prince Charming. Its doesnt work that why. Mr.Frog has to turn into Prince Charming himself on his terms. Maybe you walking away from him, leaving his swampy & depressing habitat will show him that maybe where he is at isnt the best place to be. Maybe he will finally realize in your absence that being Mr.Frog sucks and Mr.Prince Charming is the better alternative and lifestyle of stability and happiness. Let him find that out and hopefully when he does turn into Mr.Prince Charming you will be his Princess and come back for you. Lets just hope by then you haven't kissed another frog that has already turned into Prince Charming quicker than he did. :-)
There is a pt.3 and it will be The Man of Ms.BackPocket Chick. Please stayed tuned to learn about him...
Song of the BackPocket Chick: Foolish by Ashanti