Thursday, February 18, 2010

THE BACK POCKET CHICK : WHO IS SHE?

The topic I have been waiting to bring up for a long time! No this is not in a dictionary, but this chick does exist & I will explain who she is!

So what is a back pocket chick? Well first and foremost lets not confuse her with a jump-off, sideline, mistress, etc…she is not in that category. She actually the opposite. If we could come up with a adequate definition of a back pocket chick this is what it would be.

Back Pocket Chick: A woman who is acts and might be interpreted as the girlfriend of a male significant other, but without an actual title of the “girlfriend”. The guy usually treats her as such , doing everything with her but will not fully commit to a stable relationship with her.

She does everything that a normal couple would do such as spend a lot of quality time with her, might be in an exclusive sexual relationship that might be 100% monogamous, friends and family know of her, public displays of affection, and everything else you could think of that would constitutes a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. So what is the problem?

The problem is that the GUY will not fully commit to her. It has nothing to do with he might be cheating on her (or maybe he is) but more to do with the actual concept of a long lasting relationship. That might scare the guy so he doesn’t get too attach with the terms and still has a bit of freedom with the commitment to her.

Here is a theory on why he keeps the back pocket chick around. He pretty much get to have his cake and indulge without even sharing any with the girl. Basically he loves the feeling of a relationship, he might even be in love with the girl very much and enjoy her company, but mentally the stress of the commitment leaves him to not want to make it solid. So he plays a bit.

He doesn’t want to be in a “relationship”, he isn’t ready, he doesn’t know what he wants right now…are all perfect excuses on why he doesn’t commit & keeps the back pocket chick. This works to his advantage because the back pocket chick does everything pretty much for the guy to prove she is “The One” or worthy of being a great girlfriend so its nothing but benefit’s the man will receive But this is also NOT an open relationship. They might have a routine of frequently breaking up and getting back together.

He doesn’t want to lose her or let anyone have her, because psychologically it is a RELATIONSHIP. Whether it’s a title or not it’s a relationship. He gets jealous if his “back pocket chick” has other guys, doesn’t want his chick do things like she is a single woman…pretty much he is selfish with this girl and he wants her all to himself.

The reason why she is a back pocket chick is because he like to pull her back and forth in his life at his leisure. He feels when he is ready to maybe settle down, stop being confused, and take a relationship with a girl seriously that if he realized his best option is his “back pocket chick” he believes she will still be around for him. That is the plan.


The back pocket chick has to wait around until he gets he stuff together and they will live happily ever after. This logic doesn’t sound logical at all does it? Why would a girl do this? Why would she do thing as if they are in a relationship but the man wont commit to her? Why is she being strung along?

Well I am going to write a pt.2 of the mind of a Back Pocket Chick Next…stay tuned.

7 comments:

  1. And then a Pt.3 of women saying NO to being a backpocket chic...

    #1 reason why backpocket chicks exist= WE ALLOW IT!!! Make him be a man and stop accepting this mentality!

    I could go on for days but I really would like to see opinions of some of the other readers

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  2. Damn ...Sad To Say But Ur Talking Directly To Me....That's Me And My Ex's Situation To
    A Tee. He HATES Me Talking About Hitting The Clubs, Or Talking About Other Men...We Were Together For 2 Years But Then He Left Saying That He Wants To Be With Me (But Needed To Find Himself). I Can't Say I'm Waiting For Him But I'm Definitely Not Looking For Nebody New (Since He Hurt Me...I Just Figured I'd Stay Away From All Men, Cuz In My Mind They'd Leave Me Too) Which Constantly Allows Him To Snake His Way Back Into My Life.

    Just Wow I Like The Way U Put This Post Together Tho...Can't Wait To Read More About It.

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  3. O Yea...One More Thing ...Princess Said We Have 2 Get The Men Out Of The Habit Of Making Us "Back Pocket Chicks".....How Do U Do That? Do U Give Him An Ultimatum? Sure It Seems Simple Enough *Cut Him Off* But If U Have History And Share Love With This Person It's Not As Easy As It Seems.

    Sorry For Rambling :-)

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  4. This is SO TRUE! I think almost everybody has been victim to the Back Pocket. I have and it's not fun at all. This was like my last relationship....no title but everything was like we had a title. And a guy on twitter said "Boys only do what we allow them to do" So you were dead on with her comment

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  5. PI've been reading ur blog for the longest time now and I loveeeeee t I think u talented very.. but this is my first comment because for the first time I can entirely relate to ur words I am a back pocket chick... (sad)..
    <3 kadija

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  6. WOW
    WOW
    WOW

    you explained my position for the past 2 years to the T....
    amazing. and so true.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have to show you love. Quoted you on my blog. Hope that is ok. I should of wrote a blog like this but since you did it for me, I just quoted you and I'll make a response on facebook. Hit me back =)

    Hope all is well.
    ~Sonja

    ReplyDelete