Wednesday, January 20, 2010

ATTRACTION DISSATISFACTION?


Ok so lets speak some truths. Us as human beings we base things on first impressions. Before you even speak to a person, what do you notice? Its always the PHYSICAL APPERRANCE and this is the main thing that can get people confused what they want in a relationship. Let me explain.

So when one is seeking a mate, its always usually based on attraction. There is nothing wrong with that because again as humans we are programmed sometimes to go off of looks first. And that is fine and everything but then we as people need to not give credit to people when credit is not due. Just because someone "looks good" to you does not mean you give them a pass.
Have you ever held onto someone who you know was treating you wrong, but you didnt want to break up because they were physically attractive to you? You love looking at them, and because "they looked good" you didnt want to break up? How about giving them chance after chance knowing good and well they do not deserve another change. Have you ever asked yourself if this person wasn't so attractive would you keep tolerating their nonsense? Just because theyare cute you are gonna keep letting them get away with murder??!

I think we not only get blinded by love, we get blinded by looks. In my post BUTTERFACE vs. BUTTERHEART was about I shed light on people who may be attactive but doesnt have good heart vs someone who isnt as attractive but with a heart of gold. If you were dating someone slightly not as attractive as you prefer it would be easier for one to dismiss them and not give as many chances, because subconciously you feel they may not be to "your standards" and it would be easier for you to get rid of them.

It would be so much easier if people's physical attraction were based on their heart & sincerity. If a person has a nasty attitude and are selfish & mean, then they should have an unattractive look to match their personality. Same with a person with a sincere heart, sweet, giving nice personality should be attactive people. Unfortunately it doesnt work that way so we have to see past the physical to get to know the real them.

The real them is not their "physical apperance". Just because they look good doesnt mean they are a good person. Again you should not hold onto a person just because you love looking at them and that they are sexy to you. Looks fade after time, so if a person's looks are decieving you then you need to see past that and see the truth.

The truth comes with action. Forget how cute, sexy, attractive a person looks to you...pay attention to the actions and how they make you feel. Do you feel good because your with an attractive person or do you feel good because this person shows you genuinely how much they care about you. That is what matters.

The truth is after awhile, a person's attraction based on their actions can lead you to dissatisfaction with them. Do not tell yourself lies that this wonderful looking god/godess is not doing wrong when they clearly are, you need to look past their pretty face. Their looks have nothing to do with them, that is genetics from their parents so credit is not due to them for that. What credit is due is when they are a nice person genuninely and they treat you good. Now if they have a good face with a matching good spirit then you hit the JACKPOT. Other than that, if this attractive person has unattractive qualities...you might need to re-evaulate some things.

Learn: Looks are decieving. Look at a person's spirit rather than their face to judge their character. Their insides tells more truths than their genetics, so do not let good genes blind you and get you hurt in the long run.

Monday, January 11, 2010

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Are you pursuing happiness? If you are searching for happiness that is your problem right there! You are not suppose to search for something that is within you!

People say it all the time "I just wanna be happy" "where can I find real happiness" "I hope I find happiness". The funny thing is that its not too far and away that you can be happy. So ask yourself this question "Why am I not happy"?

Most people response could be
1.Because I am unemployed
2.Because I have financial issues
3.Because I have relationship issues
4.Because I am lonely

and so on and so on...so here is the other problem. If any of those things are making you unhappy what is gonna happen if you do fixes thoses isses? If you get a job is that going to automatically make you "happy"? If you fix your financial issues is that gonna make you "happy"? If you finally have the perfect relationship and have lots of friends and people around you is that gonna fulfill your happiness void?

If you said yes to any of those questions I feel very sorry for you. The reason I say that because those are considered minor issues that if you are not happy before you get those things then how are you gonna be really happy when you do get them. If you get a job that is suppose to boost your happiness. If you have money to pay your bills, that makes you stable and keeps your happiness at bay with less stress. If you have a great relationship it is only gonna work in the first place if you are happy prior to meeting your mate, nobody wants to date someone who is depressed and not happy with themselves. Same with having friends and people around you.

Honestly I think the people who are "pursuing happiness" it probably takes a lot to make them happy. Again the little things does not make them happy but it has to be something BIG to really put a smile on their face, and again that is sad. So many people are so unappreciative of the little things that can make them happy so they are pursuing a BIG BREAK DREAM and so the rest of their life is not as fulfilling because it is not achieved yet.

Here is a secret that I am still learning. Appreciate the small things in life now that make you happy so that when you really get something that makes you happy in a big way you can feel it all around you stronger. You cant take things for granted now, complain about what you dont have because there is so much to be happy about. For example seeing a little kid laugh, watching something that makes you happy/laugh, reading a good book, enjoying beautiful weather, eating your favorite food, etc...That might sound like some lame stuff to say but again you might be one of those people who are HARD to make and keep happy.

Now being stressed out in certain situations can make happiness hard to obtain sometimes, but that doesnt mean it not available. Happiness doesnt mean you get your way all the time and life is perfect and if that is what your looking for, you will be looking for a lifetime disappointed. Happiness is what you make it, so stop being difficult and go have it already! Its right there! Easy access inside of you.


**Oh and you are the only one who can get it for you, it is not someone else responsibility to make YOU happy.***


Video: Mary J Blige- Be Happy


Learn: Happiness is not something you have to "find" its a way of life. Happiness is the easiest thing in life to obtain but don't make it hard to have when it is right under your nose.

Say this: The best things in life are not only free, the best things in life lives inside of me.