Friday, November 20, 2009

ARE YOU GETTING TOXIC ADVICE?

Every now and them of course you want to hear advice from people. You want to hear the opinion of someone other than yourself to make sure tha you are doing the right thing or is it YOU with the problem but I think sometimes we might be getting TOXIC ADVICE.

This is a reason why I am a private person. Not because I think I am better than anyone or that my life is just so EXCULSIVE that I do not want people to know my buisness(well I kinda dont) but the main reason is because most people will give you the most negative advice to your situation. I dont care if it is your best friend, your mother or your father some of the closest people can give you the most TOXIC information but sadly enough they do not realize their words are like the Swine Flu.

I am not saying that the people you go to for advice do not care about your best interested because I am sure they do, but I am saying for the most part people give such negative & toxic advise because in reality we live in a TOXIC world and they are probably giving you some advice based some thing from their toxic past. I think most people rather tell you the negative aspect of something rather than the positive aspect of something not really to hurt you, bur so that you dont get you hopes up.

Most people want you to expect the worst of a situation and the advice people give you might be on the negative side to prepare you and to help you not anticipate the disappointment of the outcome of a not so positive situation. But I always think that is so backwards. Why not give someone helpful & positvie advice? If you see someone is bummed about a certain situation that they are clearly trying to seek instead of give the worst solution, give them an uplifting one? Now I know in certain situation a person will need to be brought back to life if they are clearly doing something stupid or they are setting themselves up for failure...but still give them a solution that will be helpful & benefical rather than the one that is gonna keep them being in the same situation months from now or repeating it in the future.

We do seek the people closest to us because we feel we can trust them and open up to people who we believe knows us best. But look at it from this point of view. If you are having a financial problem & seeking advice from someone...do they have GREAT financial stability for offer advice or are the semi-making it like you? Or the most common advice are about relationship so are you asking advice from a single person or a person who's had several messed up relationships themselves, a newly divorced person, or does this person also have dsyfunction in their relationship in which they probably need to take their own advice?

Look at the big picture people! I am no way or shape saying DO NOT take advice from anyone. I am saying be CAUTIOUS! Listen and take things with a grain of salt because you know your situation inside and out and some people only hear the parts (which in most cases are just the negative parts and not even the whole story 360) that you tell them. The best advice is sometimes your own heartfilled advices from within you. We are all born with intuition and feelings that trigger something. When you are around a person do you feel good most of the time when your around them or is it alway something negative? Your spirit knows better than you so you know internally how you feel about a situation whether you distribute the negative of a situation to a person...what is the reality?

Learn: Look within yourself first for the answers. Its is okay to get a second opinion from a close person in your life but your opinion of the situation should be the 1st thing that matters. Follow your gut feeling and truely evaluate the situation from your eyes and not by someone else opinions because they can only hear and not SEE what you see. Figure out what you feel is equivelant to what is real...no one can tell you that but YOURSELF.

2 comments:

  1. This is true. I am even the person you are talking about that gives toxic advice. I feel that sometimes the negative is true, or might possibly happen. But the thing is that most friends see thru some situations whether they are not in the situation or are in it.

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  2. This post is true and really hits home. like Im alwaysz trying to see what my closest around me feel about a subject but Im starting to realize that their advice isnt alwaysz the best and greatest. I gotta trust my judgement

    -Cook.ThePoet.

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