ARE YOU GETTING TOXIC ADVICE?

Every now and them of course you want to hear advice from people. You want to hear the opinion of someone other than yourself to make sure tha you are doing the right thing or is it YOU with the problem but I think sometimes we might be getting TOXIC ADVICE.

This is a reason why I am a private person. Not because I think I am better than anyone or that my life is just so EXCULSIVE that I do not want people to know my buisness(well I kinda dont) but the main reason is because most people will give you the most negative advice to your situation. I dont care if it is your best friend, your mother or your father some of the closest people can give you the most TOXIC information but sadly enough they do not realize their words are like the Swine Flu.

I am not saying that the people you go to for advice do not care about your best interested because I am sure they do, but I am saying for the most part people give such negative & toxic advise because in reality we live in a TOXIC world and they are probably giving you some advice based some thing from their toxic past. I think most people rather tell you the negative aspect of something rather than the positive aspect of something not really to hurt you, bur so that you dont get you hopes up.

Most people want you to expect the worst of a situation and the advice people give you might be on the negative side to prepare you and to help you not anticipate the disappointment of the outcome of a not so positive situation. But I always think that is so backwards. Why not give someone helpful & positvie advice? If you see someone is bummed about a certain situation that they are clearly trying to seek instead of give the worst solution, give them an uplifting one? Now I know in certain situation a person will need to be brought back to life if they are clearly doing something stupid or they are setting themselves up for failure...but still give them a solution that will be helpful & benefical rather than the one that is gonna keep them being in the same situation months from now or repeating it in the future.

We do seek the people closest to us because we feel we can trust them and open up to people who we believe knows us best. But look at it from this point of view. If you are having a financial problem & seeking advice from someone...do they have GREAT financial stability for offer advice or are the semi-making it like you? Or the most common advice are about relationship so are you asking advice from a single person or a person who's had several messed up relationships themselves, a newly divorced person, or does this person also have dsyfunction in their relationship in which they probably need to take their own advice?

Look at the big picture people! I am no way or shape saying DO NOT take advice from anyone. I am saying be CAUTIOUS! Listen and take things with a grain of salt because you know your situation inside and out and some people only hear the parts (which in most cases are just the negative parts and not even the whole story 360) that you tell them. The best advice is sometimes your own heartfilled advices from within you. We are all born with intuition and feelings that trigger something. When you are around a person do you feel good most of the time when your around them or is it alway something negative? Your spirit knows better than you so you know internally how you feel about a situation whether you distribute the negative of a situation to a person...what is the reality?

Learn: Look within yourself first for the answers. Its is okay to get a second opinion from a close person in your life but your opinion of the situation should be the 1st thing that matters. Follow your gut feeling and truely evaluate the situation from your eyes and not by someone else opinions because they can only hear and not SEE what you see. Figure out what you feel is equivelant to what is real...no one can tell you that but YOURSELF.

SELFISH= SELF HATE

I have come to realize that majority of problems in the world is due to selfishness! People are so focused on ME ME ME and forget that its about WE!

Yuo have issues. Lets hear whats wrong with you. What do you want? What makes you happy? How can you get such and such? And that is all good but along the way on to your "success journey" to getting everything YOU want their are people who do look to you for help. God designed it this way. The test in the world is not how can YOU succeed in life, but how can you help yourself & others to reach a great destination together.

If someone has a problem do you listen or do you tune them out because you have your own issues. But when you have an issue do you reach out to other people to be heard? Do you expect someone to just help you but you can not help others when in need. I know some many people who are the GIVERS...the ones who are always their for friends, family, co-workers, associates and do the right thing to help others--but most people like this never get the same thing in return.

Alot of people reach out for help and its sad that the people who we ask for a helping hand be the main ones just staring with no helpful solution or turn their backs. Now I know its not possible to help everybody in need but when you are capable of helping and it is not going to take away from you to assist someone then you should. Selfishness is always a choice...where the person doesn't see the benefit of helping someone else out. The question in this person head is "What is this going to do for me? What do I get out of doing this?" That is just evil thinking...

I am on a journey in my life (you gonna hear me talk about journeys alot) where I don't like being selfish. Now if it is a financial situation now we might have some problems not because I am selfish but look I really do not have it to give in for myself...can't be selfish to myself now.
Give when you can and do not look for anything in return because when you do it will come back to haunt you when you are in need. You never know the person you helped one day maybe be the person that helps you in the future.

Learn: To not be selfish. You was not born in a world all by yourself & you will definitely not succeed all by yourself. To give is to live!

How Shallow R U? : Butterface vs Butterheart

People are so shallow...you need to answer this question to check your shallowness. I know you heard of the term "butterface" : meaning everything looks good "but her face". But what about someone where everything looks good "but her heart"?

Makes you think now huh? Would you rather be with someone who looks good everywhere face, body, the whole package but their heart is messed up or would you rather date someone who isn't as physically atrractive as you would like as far as looks but their heart was on point "butterface"?

I came up with this "butterheart" ordeal last night before I went to sleep. I do not know why "butterface" was in my head --- but something told me to flip it and go what about a person's heart? I think a lot of people (maybe including myself sometimes) we rather date Mr. or Miss Butterheart instead of Mr. or Miss Butterface. Yes the term "butterface" was a funny childhood joke when your young but the "Butterface" person could be the person who would treat you right and have a great relationship with.

I believe Mr. & Miss Butterheart gets too much credit. Yes they are beautiful on the outside, they are so cute, fine or whatever but when it gets down to serious stuff such as a stable relationship, can you trust them, are they a good person on the inside-- they are not very good with that. Mr. & Miss Butterheart knows they are cute, they use people, they are selfish, they could care less about hurting someone else's feelings, all because their looks have been put on a pedastal for so long that they thinkthey can get away with acting this way.

Mr. & Miss Butterface might be the complete opposite. They don't have to be "ugly" but traditionally I guess their looks arent as "striking" or "modelesque"...probably has a normal look to them or maybe slightly unattractive to some but guess what: They have a HUGE heart. These are the people who yes as a society they may not be qualified to enter a beauty pagent or model in magazine...or they probably do not get hit on often but when you get to know them all of that doesnt matter. Their PERSONALITY shines, and their caring & giving heart makes them a BEAUTIFUL person that comes from the inside...not something that was genetically given to them. People would turn down this person for shallow reasons and rather be with Mr. or Miss Butterheart to heart their heart in the long run.

Now I know you probably wanna know which one do I consider myself as...am I a "butterface" or "butterheart". To be honest with you most people based on the looks department and WITHOUT knowing me would probably place me in the "butterheart" category. I am not trying to be concieted but I'm just being honest but I am definitely not a BUTTERHEART. I guess I can relate to Miss Butterface as far as the qualities (but I am not a butterface LOL). But seriously I think I am a person who is considered by most BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE but I know I am more than just my outside apperance and I am definitely way more BEAUTIFUL on the inside.

I know that sounds cliche but I am telling the truth. I do not live my life for my looks. I am appreciative that others can compliment me on something that I had no control over (Thanks God) but what I do have control over is my HEART and I am proud of that the most. Some people like to get over on their looks...I dont. I look at it like this...I can lose everything today in a freak accident and my looks can diminish but will I have a UGLY face & and UGLY HEART too? Absolutely not!

Take from this post that yes the human species are pre-wired to look for a potential mate based on looks because genetically we are programmed to do so for reproduction, but try to be attracted to someone heart and not just their face...the FACE fades the Heart doesn't.

Learn: Don't date someone who's heart is melted like butter in the microwave..a Butterheart is useless in the longrun. Review someone's soul & heart for it's good intent because dating for shallow reasons only is going to hurt you in the end...Dont date an ugly heart for the sake of a cute face.

KILLING TIME

Life is all about time. Time tests you and all you can do is be patient and wait...but wait for what? Your blessing.

I am guilty of this I always say I am fighting the battle with impatience and I always want things my way & NOW! We as people get so frustrated because there are thing we want that we do NOT instantly get...thus us being agiated and upset. We are the NOW network and you can have all the money in the world and will still not be able to get what you want because that is not life.

Life is about how long you can wait to get what you desire. I believe life is set up for you to continue to wait until you do recieve what your heart desire in order for us to appreciate it more. We as people can be so unappreciative if we always get what we want as soon as we want it. We take advantage and abuse what is easily given to us and life has a funny way of taking away things so that we can HUMBLE ourselves again and really figure out what we want and if we DESERVE what we desire.

So what do you do in the meantime...Kill time? Kill time doesnt mean WASTE time and be unproductive. It means really look deep at your situation and feel what you want. Do things that might get you closer to your goals and reflect on YOURSELF. Most people issues in this world is either money or relationship problems, but the real problem can be within yourself so do things that will make YOU a better person.

Again stop worry about what you DONT want in your life and worry about what you DO want. Do things that make you happy that passes time but also promotes growth for yourself. While you are killing time and not thinking about what is "missing" in your life the more other opportunties come along for the better.

Dwelling and dwelling on the negative aspect of your situation is only repelling what you want. Doing destructive things is only sabatoging what you want. DO NOT force or do anything prematurely or things that you might regret later for the sake of "killing time". Kill time and have patience that what you truely want and desire is just around the corner waiting for you.

One of my favorite songs by the ORIGINAL Destiny's Child inspired this post.



LEARN: Time is on your side if you let it. Be patient & wait for your beautiful blessing around the corner. Kill time by being positive & do things that will ultimately get you to the place you need to be but it starts from within.