TIRED OF FIGHTING

Relationship, love, bliss, and fights. Yes that is what it comes down to sometimes in a cycle...can the fighting end?

Now why do couples fight? Duh because people DO NOT COMMUNICATE PROPERLY! Someone is bottling their emotions, someone is expelling their emotions too much, there is aggression & frustration because someone in the relationship is not satified. Someone has to be right or someone has to be wrong, but that shouldn't be the case.

The issue is lack of listening and compassion for the other person. One person might be really reaching out to their partner, the partner have their own agenda and maybe doesnt see the other person's point of view like they should. The hardest part of a relationship is to continue to UNDERSTAND one another.

Fighting is normal in relationships. Sometimes its neccessary because it gets out a problem that hasn't been solves. But the problem persist if the couple does not come up with a lasting solution. Every problem equals a solution! A solution is not a screaming match. A solution is not ignoring the problem. A solution is COMPROMISING with your partner and listening and doing things so that this same issue doesnt arise again.

Remember its a relationship...and when it is a union it is no longer and just YOU it is about the BOTH OF YOU. Know that you will not always see eye to eye, that isn't the formula of a perfect relationship. The formula for a good, long-lasting relationship is CONSISTENCY and the value that when an issues arised the both of you can SOLVE it together.

Learn: To put the boxing gloves down in your relationship. You dont have to come to blows to get your point across. Work on any problems with a solution and their will be less fighting matches in the future. Dont knock your relationship out!

GET IT TOGETHER SOONER THAN LATER

This is specifically for the men. This is moreso for men over the age of 21. I have news for you and please listen closely: Get it together sooner than later!

This is not a male bashing post at all. Its actually some motivation because I am starting to see that alot of "men" are not motivated and believe that have all the time in the world to get their lives together...but they do not. Yes when you are young you are suppose to be confuse and unaware of what is ahead of you...but when you get to a certain point in your life MEN NEED TO START PLANNING FOR THEIR FUTURE.

This is just an observation of mine, but some men just seem like they are continuing to drag their feet, with no direction, just going where the wind blows and life is literally passing them by. They wake up and do the same routine everyday with not plans for a future for tomorrow. Its like life is just there, and they are just in it. That is truly sad because that is not what life is about!

Goals are made to be accomplished, but there is nothing to accomplished if there are NO GOALS. Plan to succeed...it does not fall in your lap. Stop making excuses for why you can't be a better MAN! A man is strong, confident, and know in order to be ahead of the pack he must PUSH himself to the top and prove himself that he is QUALITY and fit to achieve what he desires.

I am observing a bunch of laziness. I am also obseving that this menality forms in groups so its more likely a man will be less motivated to achieve his highest potential if all of his friends and associations are in the same situation. Living just to survive is NOT living. Live to your HIGHEST POTENTIAL and do not stop until you have recieve the benefits that you believe you truly deserve. Stop thinking that you have plenty of time to get it together in the future, because work workings in the present is YOUR FUTURE. You will wake up several years from now disappointed and your shortcomings because you rather have played with what you wanted and didnt seek after what you needed.

If you put you mind to this way of thinking, then sooner than later you will stop being confused and start being a TRUE MAN.

Please men find yourself sooner than later...

Learn: The struggle of the male to learn to listen to and respect his own intuitive, inner prompting is the greatest challenge of all. His conditioning has been so powerful that it has all but destroyed his ability to be self-aware. - Herb Goldberg

PULL THE TRIGGER (ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP)

Disclaimer: Before you read further...I am not talking in the literal sense! This is strictly a metaphorical post so do not go get an actual gun and do something stupid! Read between the lines please...

Ok I know another Rihanna inspired post but this one is a deep one and you can take it how u desire (but again read the disclaimer at the top). So she has a song called "Russian Roulette" and at first I didnt quite understand where she was going with this but now it makes so much sense. People on a regular basis are playing Russian Roulette with their relationships. Its a game...a very dangerous game that can be fatal if it goes too far.

Russian Roulette definition: a stunt in which you spin the cylinder of a revolver that is loaded with only one bullet and then point the muzzle at your head and pull the trigger.

Its a sick, twisted game but this is what people are doing with their relationships everyday. People are dying everyday in their relationships and its not even covered on the news...People are taking a gun with a single bullet and pointing it at their heads hoping their relationship is still safe. One's heart is beating and they are praying that the love is not going to end in this matter. People know its a bad situation, a situation in which if you keep playing long enough the fate is going to be a BAD one.

Its self infliction, its dangerous, it is borderline suicide!! But yet everyone keeps playing! The reasons people keep playing is because obvious its still standing. The bullet in the relationship is always dodged and everything seems to be okay...until its time to play again. Once a person starts to play Russian Roulette again, the pressure is on hoping that once again the bullet will not be released and it will be the last time you with that person again. But what will happen if you do pull that trigger and its ALL OVER??

Is that what you want? Do you want it to be all over secretly...or are you holding on and praying that you will keep dodging this bullet. That you will always be lucky and that this situation will never be FATAL. But it will...and you know it. Think about it...its a bullet in a gun! While that bullet is in that gun...there is a HIGH possiblity this is not going to last. This game will eventually hurt you...and the more you play, the higher the odds will be that things will DESTRUCT and it will not be pretty.

The only way you can save yourself and the relationship now is to change the game. If there is no bullets in the gun..then there is no danger right? Exactly! for the relationship to be healthy and to survive you need to remove all bullets out of a gun. A loaded gun in a relationship is playing Russian Roulette and is a scary gamble. Do you like to scare yourself? Do you like to be in fear with your heart beating out of your chest?! Is that your solution to hold your breath, close your eyes, count, and pray for the best?

If you are gonna do all of that just pull the trigger RIGHT NOW! Just pull it! And when you pull it, pull it in CONFIDENCE and if you make it out of it alive you and your partner needs to remove the bullets and never play this game again! It should be over and move on and play a less fatal game...otherwise be prepared for your ultimate desmised. Remember you've been warned and you did it to YOURSELF if you do not make it.

Learn: If you are playing a game of Russian Roulette know thatyou put yourself in this situation. You can walk away and choose not to play anymore, or you pull the trigger and hope you make it out alive. Make your decision wisely, because this game is FATAL and also remember your the one who gets hurt in the end while your partner watches you suffer.

Rihanna- Russian Roulette (offical video)

WHY GOOD GIRLS GO BAD!!!

Every bad girl was initial a good girl. So what exactly makes a girl girl go bad? Bad people and situations of course!

Most girls grow up like sugar & spice & everything nice. We are precious and sweet and so innocent & angelic. We are suppose to be "pure" and pretty much almost as untouchable as the Virgin Mary herself. We grow up playing with Barbie dolls & dressing up to one day to grow up to be beautiful woman...hopefully Beautiful "Good" Women. But as well get older things can take a left if lead in the wrong path.

So we grow up into adolescence some of the females are still pure and innoncent-like and good girls. We get a little older and might be exposed to bad people or bad situation that might taint the good girl's image. They might try to be a good girl, but then someone show her some "bad" things. Someone might break this "good girl" heart. Someone screwed this good girl too many times!!!! The Good girl also starts to finish last and might want to reconsider being on the "Good Girl List" . Then she goes HARD!

The once sweet, nice, good girl turn bad because someone didnt respect her as a "good girl". The Good girl got ran over and misused. The good girl was ignored while all the BAD GIRL reaped the benefits of what the good girls lacks. She doesn't pain easily, she has a hard exterior and has an attitude that you can't touch her because SHE is in CONTROL! She is tired of playing "nice" and lives life under different rules & standards because she gets a different kind of respect. Rihanna is of course a great example of this no need to go into details...

But when a good girl is gone is she gone forever? Possibly...possibly not. Most good girl do tread bad girl terroritory because they want to feel what it is like on the other side. Is she respected more? Is she more dominate? Is she getting everything she wants? Yes maybe temporarily...

Yes I am not gonna lie, I have a bad girl side sometimes. But I am FOREVER a good girl. Not because I want to portray and sweet and innocent image, but because in my opinion the good girl will finish and the bad girl will not. yes even if we finish LAST we will finish, while the BAD girl will always struggle for temporarily happiness instead of lasting happiness. She will settle for what she think she is in control of...but in reality things are controlling her for self descruction. You can only be "bad" for so long and then of course BAD things are gonna start happening. That is to be expected...just as if you are a good girl, GOOD things will happen.

So yes good girls can be bad, but play it as a role not a solution. It shouldn't be her entire being because in the long-run it really isnt cute. I think guys prefer to wife a good woman than a bad one. They are more trustworthy.

Learn: Good girls have more of a value than a bad girl will ever have. But good girls can be bad sometimes, just as long as it is for a short-term. Good girls will always finish, even if it is last!

Rihanna feat.Jeezy - "Hard"

ARE YOU GETTING TOXIC ADVICE?

Every now and them of course you want to hear advice from people. You want to hear the opinion of someone other than yourself to make sure tha you are doing the right thing or is it YOU with the problem but I think sometimes we might be getting TOXIC ADVICE.

This is a reason why I am a private person. Not because I think I am better than anyone or that my life is just so EXCULSIVE that I do not want people to know my buisness(well I kinda dont) but the main reason is because most people will give you the most negative advice to your situation. I dont care if it is your best friend, your mother or your father some of the closest people can give you the most TOXIC information but sadly enough they do not realize their words are like the Swine Flu.

I am not saying that the people you go to for advice do not care about your best interested because I am sure they do, but I am saying for the most part people give such negative & toxic advise because in reality we live in a TOXIC world and they are probably giving you some advice based some thing from their toxic past. I think most people rather tell you the negative aspect of something rather than the positive aspect of something not really to hurt you, bur so that you dont get you hopes up.

Most people want you to expect the worst of a situation and the advice people give you might be on the negative side to prepare you and to help you not anticipate the disappointment of the outcome of a not so positive situation. But I always think that is so backwards. Why not give someone helpful & positvie advice? If you see someone is bummed about a certain situation that they are clearly trying to seek instead of give the worst solution, give them an uplifting one? Now I know in certain situation a person will need to be brought back to life if they are clearly doing something stupid or they are setting themselves up for failure...but still give them a solution that will be helpful & benefical rather than the one that is gonna keep them being in the same situation months from now or repeating it in the future.

We do seek the people closest to us because we feel we can trust them and open up to people who we believe knows us best. But look at it from this point of view. If you are having a financial problem & seeking advice from someone...do they have GREAT financial stability for offer advice or are the semi-making it like you? Or the most common advice are about relationship so are you asking advice from a single person or a person who's had several messed up relationships themselves, a newly divorced person, or does this person also have dsyfunction in their relationship in which they probably need to take their own advice?

Look at the big picture people! I am no way or shape saying DO NOT take advice from anyone. I am saying be CAUTIOUS! Listen and take things with a grain of salt because you know your situation inside and out and some people only hear the parts (which in most cases are just the negative parts and not even the whole story 360) that you tell them. The best advice is sometimes your own heartfilled advices from within you. We are all born with intuition and feelings that trigger something. When you are around a person do you feel good most of the time when your around them or is it alway something negative? Your spirit knows better than you so you know internally how you feel about a situation whether you distribute the negative of a situation to a person...what is the reality?

Learn: Look within yourself first for the answers. Its is okay to get a second opinion from a close person in your life but your opinion of the situation should be the 1st thing that matters. Follow your gut feeling and truely evaluate the situation from your eyes and not by someone else opinions because they can only hear and not SEE what you see. Figure out what you feel is equivelant to what is real...no one can tell you that but YOURSELF.

SELFISH= SELF HATE

I have come to realize that majority of problems in the world is due to selfishness! People are so focused on ME ME ME and forget that its about WE!

Yuo have issues. Lets hear whats wrong with you. What do you want? What makes you happy? How can you get such and such? And that is all good but along the way on to your "success journey" to getting everything YOU want their are people who do look to you for help. God designed it this way. The test in the world is not how can YOU succeed in life, but how can you help yourself & others to reach a great destination together.

If someone has a problem do you listen or do you tune them out because you have your own issues. But when you have an issue do you reach out to other people to be heard? Do you expect someone to just help you but you can not help others when in need. I know some many people who are the GIVERS...the ones who are always their for friends, family, co-workers, associates and do the right thing to help others--but most people like this never get the same thing in return.

Alot of people reach out for help and its sad that the people who we ask for a helping hand be the main ones just staring with no helpful solution or turn their backs. Now I know its not possible to help everybody in need but when you are capable of helping and it is not going to take away from you to assist someone then you should. Selfishness is always a choice...where the person doesn't see the benefit of helping someone else out. The question in this person head is "What is this going to do for me? What do I get out of doing this?" That is just evil thinking...

I am on a journey in my life (you gonna hear me talk about journeys alot) where I don't like being selfish. Now if it is a financial situation now we might have some problems not because I am selfish but look I really do not have it to give in for myself...can't be selfish to myself now.
Give when you can and do not look for anything in return because when you do it will come back to haunt you when you are in need. You never know the person you helped one day maybe be the person that helps you in the future.

Learn: To not be selfish. You was not born in a world all by yourself & you will definitely not succeed all by yourself. To give is to live!

How Shallow R U? : Butterface vs Butterheart

People are so shallow...you need to answer this question to check your shallowness. I know you heard of the term "butterface" : meaning everything looks good "but her face". But what about someone where everything looks good "but her heart"?

Makes you think now huh? Would you rather be with someone who looks good everywhere face, body, the whole package but their heart is messed up or would you rather date someone who isn't as physically atrractive as you would like as far as looks but their heart was on point "butterface"?

I came up with this "butterheart" ordeal last night before I went to sleep. I do not know why "butterface" was in my head --- but something told me to flip it and go what about a person's heart? I think a lot of people (maybe including myself sometimes) we rather date Mr. or Miss Butterheart instead of Mr. or Miss Butterface. Yes the term "butterface" was a funny childhood joke when your young but the "Butterface" person could be the person who would treat you right and have a great relationship with.

I believe Mr. & Miss Butterheart gets too much credit. Yes they are beautiful on the outside, they are so cute, fine or whatever but when it gets down to serious stuff such as a stable relationship, can you trust them, are they a good person on the inside-- they are not very good with that. Mr. & Miss Butterheart knows they are cute, they use people, they are selfish, they could care less about hurting someone else's feelings, all because their looks have been put on a pedastal for so long that they thinkthey can get away with acting this way.

Mr. & Miss Butterface might be the complete opposite. They don't have to be "ugly" but traditionally I guess their looks arent as "striking" or "modelesque"...probably has a normal look to them or maybe slightly unattractive to some but guess what: They have a HUGE heart. These are the people who yes as a society they may not be qualified to enter a beauty pagent or model in magazine...or they probably do not get hit on often but when you get to know them all of that doesnt matter. Their PERSONALITY shines, and their caring & giving heart makes them a BEAUTIFUL person that comes from the inside...not something that was genetically given to them. People would turn down this person for shallow reasons and rather be with Mr. or Miss Butterheart to heart their heart in the long run.

Now I know you probably wanna know which one do I consider myself as...am I a "butterface" or "butterheart". To be honest with you most people based on the looks department and WITHOUT knowing me would probably place me in the "butterheart" category. I am not trying to be concieted but I'm just being honest but I am definitely not a BUTTERHEART. I guess I can relate to Miss Butterface as far as the qualities (but I am not a butterface LOL). But seriously I think I am a person who is considered by most BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE but I know I am more than just my outside apperance and I am definitely way more BEAUTIFUL on the inside.

I know that sounds cliche but I am telling the truth. I do not live my life for my looks. I am appreciative that others can compliment me on something that I had no control over (Thanks God) but what I do have control over is my HEART and I am proud of that the most. Some people like to get over on their looks...I dont. I look at it like this...I can lose everything today in a freak accident and my looks can diminish but will I have a UGLY face & and UGLY HEART too? Absolutely not!

Take from this post that yes the human species are pre-wired to look for a potential mate based on looks because genetically we are programmed to do so for reproduction, but try to be attracted to someone heart and not just their face...the FACE fades the Heart doesn't.

Learn: Don't date someone who's heart is melted like butter in the microwave..a Butterheart is useless in the longrun. Review someone's soul & heart for it's good intent because dating for shallow reasons only is going to hurt you in the end...Dont date an ugly heart for the sake of a cute face.