LOVE LETTER TO MY SON

Disclaimer: This little boy is not my son. I am not pregnant, I don't have any kids of my own nor am I planning to have a child in the near future. This is a love letter to my unborn, un-conceived son in which I want to dedicate this to. Enjoy.

Dear Son,

This is your perfectly imperfect mother writing you this letter to let you know some things in hopes it will shed some light on you while you take this incredible journey on this place we call Earth. First and foremost I am writing you this letter before you are born or conceived for a reason.

I am writing you from a young woman's perspective. I am learning as I go along the way in hopes of by the time you read this I am a much strong, wiser, and better person. Life there are so many trials and tribulations, that there are things you cannot even read in book or learn in school to find out. Most of our hardest trials are things we have to go through based on experience, to which is why I am writing this to prepare you early...because there are some things I may not ever be able to teach you-but I hope this message will be instilled in you and give you better guidance along the way.

I want to let you know that I am doing my best to make sure you have everything you need before you even arrive here. I just recently received my Bachelors of Arts Degree and I am hoping to be working in my field very soon to be able to provide and give you a much better life than I had. I hope you never want or need for anything (but letting you know now I will not be making you a "spoiled brat"). I want to make sure you have a great childhood and to not be in a dysfunctional/hostile/uncomfortable environment.

With saying that I am being very cautious of what I do and how I play my cards in life. As I am writing this, you are not here now, but I always think about my future and my legacy to not mess of my foundation because one day you are going to have to carry it. I want our foundation to be strong, so that by the time you are old enough you will be able to keep the tradition going. I am not going to raise you to be in this world to be lost & confused like a lot of men are today. I have no idea what is going on, but I promise you I will make sure that you will not be a "statistic" and that you will have a strong male role model in your life so that you can see your example from the START.

One thing that I am not going to be able to do is raise you to be "a man" because unfortunately I cannot do that. That is something another man is going to have to show you and that man will be YOUR FATHER. There are so many single mothers out there who are raising their son's and teaching them that they are the mother & the father...I am sorry but I cannot do that. That is not my job. God made a man and a woman for a reason. God made it to where it takes a man and a woman to make a child, and it is going to take a man and a woman to raise you. But your father is going to raise you to be a MAN.

I know that your father is going to be a strong man. I will make sure of that. You father is going to be responsible, with a good head on his shoulders, and a leader to make sure that you can look up to him. You will need your father just like I needed mine. Your grandfather is a strong, black man and I am so grateful to have him as my father and I want you to feel the same way about your Dad. You wont ever have to resent your father, because he will be there. I promise my goal is to make sure you grow up in a loving two-parent home, just like me, because that is what you DESERVE.

I want you to grow up a be a "good man". I refuse to raise a "heart breaker". I want you to be a gentleman and to always treat woman with respect. You have aunts, grandmothers, female cousins, and maybe a sister so on my end I am going to make sure you know the rules on how to treat a female. There are men who mother's didn't instill those values, who didn't speak to their son's from a woman's point of view and I will make sure it happens because that is MY JOB. You are going to date one day and go through your own relationship fiascoes like I did, but regardless you will be a respectful to women. We are the ones who have to deliver life into this world and the least you can do is to treat woman like ladies and not like "disposable objects". Be better than that.

You are going to be apart of a strong legacy. You will always be surrounded by family and lots of love. On my side of the family, you will have so many cousins, uncles, aunts, etc...you will always have family around you. We are we close, tight knit, and its not perfect but you will love it. I want to make sure within your immediate family that there are always traditions that you will always remember, as if to almost mimick the Cosby Family(but better).

I want you to feel that you can always come to me or your father for advice. I want you to know what love feels like starting from the home. You are not going to have to run the street seeking the answers because you don't have to. I want you to be one of the fortunate people to say that you were able to grow up with your parents and live the American Dream. I want you to grow up knowing that you had smart, goal-oriented parents that worked hard to get what was necessary so that you grew up happy & well-rounded. I am speaking into existence that you will be a great asset to society, not a problem. You do not have to be Barack Obama to make a difference, you can be better if you wanted to.

I want to raise a strong man. That is you. You will have alot of my qualities and as well as your strong-minded father. You are loved before you were born, before you were given a name, before you were even thought about. Love is knowing that I am doing what I have to do NOW to make sure I can alway put a smile on your face in the FUTURE. I am trying my best even as we speak, I am trying. I made mistakes, and I will probably makes some even raising you but just know that the POWER OF LOVE is the best thing I want to teach you and show you.

I want to make you proud. I want to do the right thing because my actions are your future. I have to remember that. I pray and hope God delievers you in my life when I will be able to manifest these desires before I am able to give them to you. You will be born with love and hopefully by the time you read this that everything I am hoping comes true. I Love You.

Love your perfectly imperect mother,

K.Durham